Review: Bondara's Vibrating Inflatable Buttplug

The act of giving Christmas presents is a definitive characteristic in people. Some people invest a monumental amount of time in buying them and guarantee that you will love whatever sentimental piece of shit they give you; lovingly wrapped by Tibetan monks. Others will be handed to you in February in a Morrison’s shopping bag, likely panic-purchased at 3am under in a confused hungover blur. Some friends will give you what they think you need (thanks for the Boots 3 for 2 gifts and the new electric toothbrush head, bitch) and others will hand you a small package with a smug, omniscient wink and whisper; “don’t open it in front of your parents”. It is the latter type of friend that uncompromisingly knows and accepts you as the debauched sex-pest that you are, and you should keep hold of them. Bloody marry them if you can. I, for example, had only ever envisioned a future in which I would purchase my own sex toys, aside from a pair of handcuffs when I was a teenager. (Thanks Sam!) But one of the greatest gifts I have received this Christmas was a vibrating, inflatable butt-plug (though if my Grandma asks, it was the pink fluffy dressing gown) and, having used it once or twice (*coy winks*) I think it’s time for a review.

First off, vibrating anything are pretty good at getting your rocks off. As are most things that are appropriately designed for putting in your derriere (read: appropriately designed, people! But by all means go crazy with the TV remote and enjoy your later conversations with a bored and despairing nurse. You only live once.) and, when you are the type of person who enjoys both, the natural progressive leap is to find something that combines the two. Which is where Bondara’s Inflatable Vibrating Butt Plug comes into my life and, perhaps into yours.

Let’s start with the basics. It’s made of black latex rubber- which is the ideal colour for anything booty related (I’m sure I don’t need to explain why) - with an, ahem, insertable length of 4 inches. Now, I’m sure many of the more fiendish amongst you wouldn’t be satisfied with that, but for the budding anal explorer it’s a good place to start. The good thing about this one is the inflatable feature; you can work up to take a girthier things at your own pace, because the thing increases at least three times its initial size with the help of a hand pump. Which, I will admit, does look quite disconcertingly like a hand grenade- which can pose it’s own distractions. It features a quick-release deflate button that will immediately take you back to the plug’s starting width, which comes in handy if the person has taken one ambitious leap too far and is squealing frantically at you. All I will say on the topic of inflation is that somebody I know (averts eyes sheepishly) almost broke her new toy two seconds out of the box by seeing how quickly and how much it would inflate. Turns out a lot, and it becomes this weirdly deformed monstrosity that really needs to be buried deep in a person before it is brought to life. Of course you will all try it, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Next thing, the multiple vibrating settings. They start at “gentle stroll down pleasure lane” and quite rapidly descend into “if that button is pressed one more time I’m going to turn into a human hover board”. I’m still in two minds as to whether the latter stage is a good or bad thing! Either way, the vibrating is a fun and very easy to use feature and is guaranteed to put the wearer very firmly under the thumb of whomever wields the remote. Turns out you can pretty much convince a person to do whatever you want when you’re making them buck and whimper at the thing inside them. For any gentleman out there who haven’t yet experienced the wonder that is a butt plug in their arse whilst they come, I’d advise you to try this; I have it on good authority that a plug, not least a vibrating one, will give you one of the strongest and most intense orgasms of your life. It’s highly likely that you’ll propose to the thing in your post-orgasm bliss. And no, this isn’t a competition as to which one of you can take a bigger object. That, guys, is a game that you’ll start as friends and end as anal gremlins that can’t meet one another’s eyes, and grow hot under the collar every time you walk through the vegetable aisle at Tesco.

So, that's the good side of this butt plug. One thing that does have to be acknowledged, however, is the truly terrifying visual aspect of seeing this in someone. Neither the remote control lead or the inflatable pump lead are detachable, meaning that once inserted this does make you or your beloved partner look like the victim of something out of Alien. It also can require a certain level of gymnastics to ensure the leads don’t entangle a limb. Realistically though, if you’re buying an inflatable butt plug, wires will come with the territory. If this is a real deal-breaker though, you can limit the annoying appendages by buying an more expensive, but hands-free version that comes with an actually remote remote control. At the very least, it’s something to giggle about, and laughter in the bedroom is always a good thing. Unless it’s because somebody’s sex noises sound like they’re birthing a piglet.

All in all, this is a very satisfactory product; Bondara promises a “truly heavenly anal experience” from this plug and it certainly delivers; especially with the very reasonable price tag. For the solo experimentalist or the couple looking to add a durable, flexible and most importantly mutually useful object of deviance to the top drawer of the bedside cabinet (which everyone has and nobody admits) this is a perfect starting point. if you can handle it’s …. somewhat tentacular nature.

G.

Bondara Inflateable and Vibrating Butt Plug Material: Flexible black latex

Mutli-vibrating settings

Size: 4.5 inches (4 insertable inches)

Price: £16.99

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